This is a random post and not of the sort I normally do, but I feel as though I need to be open with myself and everyone else. I guess the point is just to say sorry... I have been trying for a long time to pretend everything is normal, but the truth is, it's not. Most of you know, I dated a guy seriously for three years, was best friend's with him for four of those. This past July, he broke things off, and I have not been able to find myself since. I know we all go through our own trials and to some this may not seem like a big deal, but to me, this has been extremely hard, trying, depressing, and confusing time. I have never felt so lost. I thought in time it would make it easier, but the black cloud just feels like it is still hanging over me. Sometimes I think the cloud may be lifting, only to be replaced by a darker one the next day. I really hope I find happiness soon, but right now the path is quite foggy. It's amazing how one can hurt you so much, yet you still want to be a part of his life. It doesn't make sense.
I want to apologize for not being myself. I want to ask for your patience as I chip my way through the mountain of ice. I want to thank those of you that have been there and given me strength to go on. Please continue to wait for me to get my life back together. I need you more than anything in my life right now.
I want my head to be cleared, I want to see the rainbow. I wanted to see it a long time ago, but I am still eagerly awaiting.
I pray that time will come soon...
9 comments:
i heart you
oh kris! i'm so sorry. i know the feeling you are feeling, and it is probably the worst one to have. i will pray for you, i love you to pieces and want you to find that happiness you once felt again!
don't give up! we all love you and pray for your happiness. we had a lesson on the companionship of the Holy Ghost today and it reminded me about how much we need that gift in our lives. If for nothing else, he will give you the comfort to know that everything is going to be ok. i love you!
The best advice I ever got is that the hurt will never go away it will just hurt less over time. Time is all relative. Thank you for being honest. I believe that happiness is often just having peace that you will survive that things do get better eventually even when we suffer internal catastrophe. I love you and I am actually so glad the you know who is gone--but I am sorry for that loss :(
I believe in you chicka! Your stronger than you probably even know it. Even though time can suck hard core that's usually what it takes. Sometimes you have to pretend that everything is okay and eventually it will be!
i love you kris. you know that. i'm here for you whenever you need me. when you want to be alone, just let me know and I'll hide in the closet (aka my room)
Thank you friends and family. I knew before that I had a lot of love coming from others, but you all for sure confirmed it. Thank you for your support and understanding through this crazy time in my life! I love you all.
I love you Kris! You are amazing and loved.
I haven't blogged in awhile!! I am so sorry you are going through this!! I know st least some of the feelings you have felt before, and it is hard!! Like everyone said, time will help, and one day u will look back and realize how much the Lord was there, lifting you up!! U are amazing, and I am also glad the mentioned man is gone,, but not because you hurt... but because you deserve better!! Love you girl!! P.s. does he read your blog?
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